Magic Number 40

I have been 40 pounds overweight for the past nine years.  My goal for the past three years has been to drop that 40 pounds before my 40th birthday.  Here I sit, 40 days before my 40th birthday, and I'm still toting these extra 40 pounds around with me.  Since the only ways to lose 40 pounds in 40 days is either anorexia or bulimia, it's pretty safe to say that I will not be reaching my goal of hitting 40 at a healthy weight.  Sigh.  It probably goes without saying that I am incredibly discouraged about that.  However, I know full well that I have no one to blame but myself for my failure. 
Sitting around moping about not reaching my goal is not the answer.  I may not make it to my healthy weight goal in time for my 40th birthday, but I will make the goal.  I pledge that to myself.  I actually do have a plan to accomplish this goal once and for all.

Eating:  I have always been plagued by overpowering junk food cravings.  Specifically, sugary junk food.  Even more specifically, chocolate, sugary junk food.  According to my psychiatrist, and Dr. Oz, low serotonin levels are the reason for the chocolate cravings.  According to Dr. Oz, sunflower seeds will increase serotonin levels.  Since sunflower seeds are an ingredient in all healthy eating regimens, they are the perfect thing to grab when the chocolate cravings hit.  I haven't tried this yet, but you can bet it's the first thing on my new plan "to do" list! 
Also, it has come to my attention that I have a complex carbohydrate deficiency.  I have a gluten sensitivity, so I avoid whole grains, the most common complex carb.  I have hypoglycemic tendencies, so I avoid things like beans, which are the second most common complex carb, and which I have always mistakenly thought exacerbated blood sugar problems.  Everything I've read recently about hypoglycemic issues points to complex carbs, specifically whole grains and BEANS, being the key to healthy blood sugar levels, and healthy weight.  So I bet you can guess what is second on my new plan "to do" list.  Yep, add beans to the diet plan!  Not to fret, I'm not going to add them willy nilly.  No, I found an eating plan specifically designed for people with hypoglycemic issues who wish to lose weight, and I will be following that.  It is balanced with lean proteins, fruits and veggies, so it's all good.

Movement:  A few months ago, my psychiatrist pointed out to me that I have a tendency to go head long and full tilt into ridiculously intense activities, like the Insanity program, as a prime example.  She said that I throw myself into these things with great enthusiasm, and high expectations, and after a little while, get tired, bored, and, most importantly, frustrated with the intensity level and lack of immediate results, and I quit.  Once I quit, I go into a downward spiral because I feel guilty about quitting, and we all know what happens when anyone goes into a downward spiral for any reason.  It's just not good, or productive in any way. 
My psychiatrist, in her infinite wisdom, suggested that I KISS. 
"Keep it simple, stupid!" she said to me.  (She's so awesome!  I love that she isn't afraid to be rough with me, and tell it like it is!  She doesn't sugar coat anything, which makes me trust her implicitly!)
"Pledge to yourself that you WILL do 20 minutes of movement, three days a week.  That's all!  If you happen to do more, fine, but you don't have to!  Just 20 minutes three days a week and you are done!"
I started with a 30 minute yoga dvd that I had, but after three weeks I was bored with it.  I looked on YouTube to see if I could find work out videos that were only 20-30 minutes long.  There are TONS!!  Right now I'm doing the Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred program.  Ten days at each of three levels of circuit training, and each one is only 25 minutes long.  I'm 'stuck' in the middle of level two right now because it's kind of kicking my booty.  Once I can get through it without stopping, I will move on to level three.  After I'm finished with this program, I have a bunch of others to choose from. 

My aunt recently asked me how I felt about turning 40.  I shrugged my shoulders and said, "Meh, I don't really have any feelings one way or the other."
It's true.  Everyone has that one birthday that really gets to them.  That was my 35th birthday.  I felt horrible on that birthday.  I felt like my life was already half over and I had absolutely nothing to show for it.  I felt like I was fat, frumpy, old, and a failure of life.
I don't feel like that now.  Sure, I'm still over weight, but I don't feel hopelessly fat.  Sure I'm still pretty frumpy, and I have the gray hair and wrinkles to show my age, but I have found a great hair color, and facial moisturizer!  And yes, I still haven't accomplished anything big and exciting in my life, but not all of us can have great big, exciting, worldly careers.  Some of us need to stay home and raise the next batch of super hero's!